Bad Aphrodisiac
by Para Abnormal
Summary: UPDATE! CHAPTER 7 UP. Harry wakes one morning, and to his horror, finds Malfoy sleeping in his bed which leads to rumours and tourment for both boys. FIND OUT WHO THE PINK JOURNAL BELONGS TO! R&R No flames Slash Warning
1. G'morning Harry

Dim, musky morning light shown through the closed drapes of the Gryffindor Common room. It glimmered into Harry Potter's eyes and awoke him. The bedroom looked blury without his glasses on, so he fundled on the desk to pick them up.  
  
He had been having the strangest dream. Funny it had awoken him before everybody else. Now that he thought back on it, Harry could barely even remember what had happened in the dream.   
  
"Ron, have you seen my glasses?" Harry hissed when he couldn't find them. He was answered by a loud snoor. "Thanks alot Ron. Oh, here they are."  
  
Harry's hand touched the rim of the glasses, which aparently had been dropped to the floor.   
  
He slipped them on his face, just to be knocked off by a slap on his shoulder.  
  
"What the...?"  
  
Harry spun around, to find not only Malfoy's hand, but his whole body in the bed. Harry's bed!  
  
"Malfoy!" Harry hissed, trying to get back on his glasses in a clumsy fashion. "What are you doing?"  
  
His silver eyes opened dazily and he smiled, "G'morning Harry."  
  
Harry screamed again and fell out of his bunk and onto the cold, hard floor. The crash woke up everybody in the dormitory.  
  
"Harry, what's going on?" Ron asked as he rubbed his eyes, but then they got wider. "Bloody hell, why's Malfoy...?"  
  
"I don't know!"  
  
"Oh, Harry..." The twins had rushed over to Harry's bed, and Fred was waving his finger. "Naughty naughty!"  
  
"Exuse me, please," Hermione's voice could be heard as she came into the boy's bedrooms. Her face looked as stern as ever, and her frizzy bedhead hair was getting quite a few looks. "Harry! Malfoy!"  
  
"Don't look at me!" Harry shook his head. "I don't know what's going on!"  
  
"I'll tell you what's going on," George piped, a rather nasty grin on his face. "Harry's got a boyfriend."  
  
"I do not!" Harry argued. "I don't!"  
  
"Five more minutes..." Malfoy yawned, and grabbed Harry round the middle. The whole room burst up in laughter, except for Hermione.  
  
"How did he get in here?" She questioned in the midst of the laughing. "Slytherins can't know the Gryffindor password! It's against the rules!"  
  
"I know." Fred teased and pointed to Harry, who was trying his best to get Malfoy off of him. "He let him in."  
  
"No!" Harry shook his head. "There has got to be something wrong with him! This is too weird!"  
  
"Wickle Harry worrying about baby-waby Malfoy? They do wuve each other." George taunted, and the two twins started cracking up.   
  
Harry had had enough.   
  
"I swear, I'll-"   
  
"Swear you'll what?"  
  
Proffesor McGonagall was standing in the doorway. She had a serious look on her face, but it was slightly confused.  
  
"What is going on here?"  
  
"Malfoy snuck into my bed while I was sleeping!" Harry explained. "He's not my boyfriend!"  
  
"I never said he was your boyfriend, Mr. Potter," McGonagall said. "But I stil l am curious how Mr. Malfoy got inside of the Gryffindor Common Room.""Don't ask me!"  
  
"Yes, I will ask you, Mr. Potter." There was a snicker throughout the bedroom. McGonagall eyed the Gryffindors sternly, then looked back at Harry. "Bring yourself and Mr. Malfoy down into my office, now."  
  
"Yes, Proffesor." Harry hung his head. She disappeared out of the door.   
  
"This is to great!" The twins cheered, and the other Gryffindors joined. "Harry and Draco sititng in a tree, K-I-S-S-"  
  
"Shut up!" Harry shrieked, and slapped Malfoy in the face. "Get up, you lazy git!"  
  
"Erm?" He said stupidly. "Bathtime already?"  
  
Harry slapped him again.   
  
"Get up!" Harry was getting frustrated with this. "I told you to get up and get out of my bed, now!"  
  
"Okay, okay," He lazy got to his feet, then swayed back onto the bed. "I'm too tired..."  
  
"God!" Harry grabbed Malfoy's hand and pulled him up again. "We have to go McGonagall's office or we'll get in even bigger trouble!"  
  
"Wah..."  
  
The Gryffindors were laughing themselves stupid when they saw Harry and Malfoy walking out of the room hand in hand. It was humiliating, but Harry and Malfoy managed to leave the Common Room in one piece. When they got outside, they were alone. It was too early for anyone to be going to classes.  
  
"Malfoy, explain it to me!" Harry growled. "Why did you go into my bed?"  
  
Malfoy was quiet as he looked up into the cieling.  
  
"Because I like you." he said softly.   
  
"Like me?" Harry felt the back of his neck go hot. "Like me? Is that what you are going to tell McGonagall?"  
  
"Yeah." Malfoy nodded.  
  
"And how did you get into the Common Room?" Harry questioned.  
  
"I dunno," Malfoy said, and let Harry's hand go. Harry was getting angrier by the second.  
  
"Your so STUPID!" Harry cried. "Your not going to tell that to McGonagall! You might start a rumour, or worse, I might be moved into the girl's dorimitory!"  
  
They reached McGonagall's office as Harry said that. McGonagall gestured towards to chairs in front of her desk. The two boys sat down.  
  
"Now, Mr. Potter, Mr. Malfoy," McGonagall began. "I want you to explain everything to me. Mr. Potter, you first."  
  
"Well, I woke up, and Malfoy was sleeping in my bed," Harry said. "I yelled, fell out of my bed, and woke everybody up. I don't know why or how he got there."  
  
"I see," McGonagall's cheeks were slightly pink. "Now, Mr. Malfoy, explain your side of the story."  
  
Harry looked to Malfoy. His head was cocked on his shoulder with eyes closed, and drool dribbling out of his mouth.   
  
"Mrum mrum...mandrake milkshakes..."  
  
"Mr. Malfoy," McGonagal was becoming agrivated. "Please wake up." She patted his pale cheeks. Malfoy woke up.  
  
"Eh!" He yelped. "Hello Kitty panties!"  
  
Harry snickered as Malfoy fell right back asleep.  
  
"I wonder," McGonagall stroked her chin.   
  
"Wonder what, Proffesor Mc.Gonagall?" Harry asked. He recoiled when Malfoy's head dropped on his shoulder.  
  
"There is a potion called Aphrodite's Wreath," she began, but shook her head. "Never mind..."  
  
"What? I want to know, professor."  
  
"Aphrodite's Wreath is an extremely powerful love potion," McGonagall said. She took out a potions book. "That makes the drinker have their crush fall madly in love with them. But if the potion is done wrong, it reverses the effect."  
  
"Reverses?" Harry winced. "You mean he was going to..."  
  
"He wouldn't be in your bed if he didn't like you, Mr. Potter, as much as I hate to admit it." She sighed. "But he must have intended the potion for you and incorrectly made it. " She looked at one of the book's pages. "It says if it is dranken one a new moon and not a full moon, it is reversed."  
  
"It's a new moon," Harry sighed. He remembered that from Astronomy class.  
  
"Other effects of drinking it on a new moon include incredible sleepiness and clumsiness, and he will be entirely devoted to you." McGonagall shrugged. "But he will switch out of this state during the moonlight. Odd, isn't it?" She slammed the book shut. "All I can suggest is not to let this out, and to try to help Mr. Malfoy as much as you can."   
  
"Help him?"  
  
"That is what I said." She flickered her hand. "Now return to your dormitory."  
  
"You mean you aren't going to punish me?" Harry asked, and brought out his wand. He used a spell to make Malfoy hover.   
  
"Oh, no, Mr. Potter," She shook her head. "You didn't do anything. But when Mr. Malfoy gets out of his state, he will be severally punished."  
  
"When will that be?"  
  
"I know you may not want to hear this," McGonagall said slowly. "But when unless potion's intent has been completed, it will not be undone."  
  
"That means-"  
  
"You have to convince Malfoy you like him." Harry felt quizy. "I am not saying you have to like him, though. Or you can wait until it wears off."  
  
"How long will that take?"  
  
"Until the next solar eclipse, Mr. Potter."  
  
"I'll pretend," Harry said at once, and left the room with Malfoy floating at his side (Malfoy rammed into the wall before going through).   
  
McGonagall waited until their footsteps had disappeared when she reopened the book. She flipped to read about Aphrodite's Wreath.  
  
"Oh look at that," she smiled. "Other effects may include spontanious invisibility. That explains how he got in."  
  
CHAPTER END 


	2. Ron's Got a Secret

I hope you guys are liking my story. It is my first Harry Potter fic. I like how it is going so far. Draco's the best. ^_^. Harry should start calling Malfoy Draco soon. It'll be easier for me, as the writer!  
  
When Harry got back into the Gryffindor Common Room (He dropped Malfoy off by the Slytherin Common Room-he was still asleep), the Weasly twins were first to greet him.  
  
"Did you get suspended?" Fred insisted.  
  
"Did you get moved to another house?" He snicked. "Such as Hufflepuff?"  
  
"Shut up!" Harry yelled. "Quit bugging me about it! It was Malfoy's fault! He did some wierd love potion called Aphrodite's Wreathe..."  
  
"Aphrodite's-"  
  
"Wreathe?"  
  
The twins fell over in over whelming laughter. Hermione's cheeks went pink as she approached Harry.  
  
"He used Aphrodite's Wreathe on you, Harry?" She put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry..."  
  
"No! No!" Harry shook his head. "Tha'ts wrong! He drank it on a new moon, the stupid git!"  
  
"The new moon?" Hermione blinked. "Oh, that explains alot..."  
  
She pulled out a small book from her pocket labeled, Ultimate Love Potions.  
  
"I had this in Potions class with the Slytherins a week ago, and I noticed afterwards that the page about Aphrodite's Wreath was torn out."   
  
"Why do you have a Love Potions book anyhow, Hermione?" Ron questioned from behind her. Hermione blushed crimson and tucked the book into her pocket.  
  
"But do you know what I have to do?" Harry hissed to his friends, making sure the Gryffindors couldn't hear him. "To get rid of it, I have to fill out the purpose of the spell. In other words, I have to make it look like I like him."  
  
Ron giggled. "That sounds like fun, Harry. You two make a great pair."  
  
"Don't make this sound a million times worse than what it already is," Harry said.  
  
"It is pretty bad," Ron smiled. "And our first class today is Potions with the Slytherins...heh heh..."  
  
"I have an idea," Hermione interuppted. "Why don't we make a spell so that Malfoy appsolutly loathes you?"  
  
"I mean, he did before he made that Wreath thing though, so it won't be a big deal." Ron shrugged. Harry shook his head.  
  
"Nope, wrong." He could feel himself getting embaressed. "He liked me in the first place-the Wreath was just to make me like him back."  
  
Ron burst up laughing.  
  
"He really is gay?" Ron cried. "God, that's great! I thought he was trying to cast it on some other person, and you just happened to be the glitch! But he likes you! To rich!"  
  
Harry scowled at him. Ron stopped at once.  
  
"I know one spell, it is fairly simple. It is called Deimos's Anger, and I can make that while Snape isn't looking."  
  
"What do you need to get?" Harry asked.  
  
"Well, Snape told us yesterday that we'd begin Fire Musk Potions," Harry and Ron eyed each other, not having the faintest clue of what Fire Musk Potions were. "Which have all the ingredients I need, except for Harry's hair."  
  
"Hair?" Ron looked disgusted. "Kind of like in the Polyjuice potion?"  
  
"I guess you could say that." Hermione said. "So Harry, give me a strand of your hair..."  
  
"Ouch!" Harry squealed when Hermione plucked the hair from his head. "That hurt!"  
  
She brought out an empty glass containor and put the hair into it. Hermione put the bottle back.  
  
"So, there we go. Harry, before we go to class though," Hermione warned. "I'd be aware that Snape would humiliate you if the word about you and Malfoy got to him."  
  
"Or he might just be jealous," Ron joked.  
  
"Be quiet Ron," Hermione warned. "Potions should be trouble. And if the potion does work -we will have to find someway to make Malfoy drink it- we always have Charms to figure something out. And while we are around Malfoy, well, I am sorry to say Harry, but you have to be nice to him."  
  
"Shit!" Harry slapped his forehead. "I forgot about that part!"  
  
"Harry!" Hermione warned. "Your language..."  
  
"How would you like it if Malfoy was hanging all over you?" Harry intimidated. "Or Pansey Parkinson?"  
  
Hermione looked at her feet.  
  
"Well..."  
  
"This conversation is getting me grossed out!" Ron shook his head. He was blushing. "We gotta eat breakfast pretty soon before I completely lose my appetite."  
  
He rushed into the dormitories to get dressed. Harry watched him leave.  
  
"Why was Ron blushing?" Harry asked and looked at Hermione. She shrugged. "You could see he was trying to hide it."  
  
"I don't know. He was acting weird when you and Malfoy were in McGonagall's too." Hermione looked up. "Maybe you should ask him."  
  
"Ask him?" Harry repeated.   
  
He followed after Ron. Hermione fell into the couch in front of the fire and groaned.  
  
"I don't think..." she whispered to herself. "That our secrets are going to be that secret anymore."  
  
~*~  
  
"Hey Ron!" Harry called. Ron was just slipping on his black robes. No one was around - they were already in the dining hall.  
  
"Yo?"  
  
"What was up with you down stairs?" He questioned in the nicest way he could. "You were blushing. And Hermione said that you were acting strange when I was gone."  
  
Ron's ears turned red.  
  
"Um...well...that's..."  
  
Harry was interested.  
  
"Come on, Ron," He edged him. "Tell me what's up. You're hiding something, huh?"  
  
He didn't say anything.  
  
"Is it about someone you like?" Harry felt like he was getting nosy, but he had to know what was the problem. For Ron's sake. "You okay?"  
  
"Yeah, it's about someone I like," Ron whispered. "It's been bugging me for a while..."  
  
He stopped.  
  
"You can tell me," Harry reassured him. Ron inhaled.  
  
"Ha-"  
  
"Harry!" Hermione called from downstairs. "Get into the dining hall, quick! Malfoy's up to something!"  
  
Harry rolled his eyes.  
  
"You can tell me later," He said, waving his hand, and quickly put on his robes. "Meet you downstairs."  
  
He exited the room, making Ron feel very empty and stupid indeed. Ron placed his wizard hat on his head and muttered, "Damn."  
  
CHAPTER END 


	3. Draco's Not so 'Simple Plan'

Next chapter!  
  
"What's going on?" Harry called after Hermione. Her frizzy hair could be seen through the sea of black hats. He followed her until she came to the Great Hall.   
  
"Harry," she breathed. "Brace yourself."  
  
Harry entered the hall, and to his horror, found a banister hanging on the ceiling reading, "THE POWER OF LOVE."  
  
His heart jumped.   
  
"That's not it," Hermione pointed to the table where the teachers sat. "Look."  
  
The professors were scrambling about their headtable, chasing after a blond boy. Harry recoginzed him...was it...  
  
"Malfoy," Ron's shocked voice came from behind them. "I can't belive that he'd-"  
  
"He did." Hermione said."What is he holding?"  
  
In Malfoy's hand was a black tube...a microphone? And attatched to it was a boombox.  
  
"I thought that magic didn't work at Hogwarts!" Harry said.  
  
"He is probably magicking its use."  
  
Hermione shrugged.   
  
"Malfoy turned it on!" Ron cried. Malfoy was waving his wand, and something shined in the air. "He's putting in a CD! Oh no...you don't think...he's going to..."  
  
"KAREOKE?" They screamed, Ron tumbling into a chair and Hermione wobbled nausiosly. Harry, however, kept standing.  
  
"Harry!" Malfoy shouted, waving his hand franticly as he danced from side to side. The teachers didn't take notice to the cdplayer. "Harry! HARRY! HARRY-BERRY! Watch me!"   
  
Harry's feet were frozen to the floor.  
  
"Here I go!!!" He flicked on the music with his wand. As the song started, the entire school stood silent along Harry.  
  
"K..." he cleared his throat.  
  
  
  
"I heard you're doing okay...  
  
But I want you to know..."  
  
"Oh no," Ron said to Hermione. "I know this song...it's an American Muggle Punk song!"  
  
"No!" Hermione shook her head. "NOT AN AMERICAN MUGGLE PUNK SONG!"  
  
"And the worst kind of all..." He shuddered. (AN: I am American and I like punk music. And I am a muggle. I am not discrimitory so don't get pissed at me, everyone!)  
  
"I'm a dick! I'm addicted to you!"  
  
The whole school began snickering, and even some people who had not heard the song and hadn't knew the true lyrics (unlike Malfoy) were cracking up laughing.  
  
"I can't pretend I don't care   
  
When you don't think about me."   
  
The twins began to sing angelic 'la la las' in the background as they joined Malfoy. For some reason they thought that it might be funny, even if they did hate Malfoy.   
  
"Do you think I deserve this?   
  
I tried to make you happy!"  
  
The end of 'make you happy' was loud and flat. The Slytherins were half humiliated, half terrified. Their Seeker, their prefect, their Malfoy was singing a love song for no aparent reason. Gryffindor, on the otherhand, was overwhelmed in the opposite feelings.   
  
"But you left anyway.  
  
Harry...Oh Harry...Potter!!!"  
  
BANG.  
  
  
  
Snape had blew up the boombox. A black char mark was where it once had been. He looked cautiously at Malfoy, but could not speak anywords. His breath was heavy, as he turned to Harry.  
  
"...POOOOOTTTTEEEEERRRRR!!!" Snape's voice boomed. Everyone moved out of the way when Snape fluttered to Harry. He was planted in the middle of the Hall.  
  
"Potter!" Snape shrieked. "Potter! Answer me!"  
  
Harry did not move.   
  
"I think he may be sick sir," A Hufflepuff said. Snape pushed him out of the way.  
  
"Shut up you..."  
  
But the Hufflepuff moved past him and pressed his hand to Harry's forehead.  
  
"He's not to hot..."  
  
"I think he's hot!" Malfoy yelled over their heads. He was still standing on the table. The school laughed mildly.  
  
Snape ignored him.  
  
"Well, Potter, speak!"  
  
Harry mumbled something.  
  
"What was that?"  
  
He said it louder.  
  
"Repeat that!"  
  
"....if I don't move...maybe they can't see me...if I don't move...maybe they can't see me...if I don't move...maybe..."  
  
"Damn you, Potter!" Snape struck him. Harry bounced out of his trance.  
  
"Condom Vampires!" Malfoy appeared at Snape's ear. "They turn you into one of them by draining the liquid of your pus-"  
  
"Mr. Malfoy!" McGonagall interuppted. "I see Aphrodite's Reathe has given you the bravery to be an innapropriate as a...as a..."  
  
"As a Goblin stript club?!" He called excitedly. McGonagall went red.  
  
"That...that wasn't what I was going to say..."  
  
"Explain to me what is going on," Snape ordered. McGonagall gestured him away from the Hall as she snapped to Malfoy and Harry, "No more of this, Mr. Malfoy! I want you to act more your age, or I will..."  
  
"Whip my ass like a matha fugga?"  
  
McGonagall's face turned deeper crimson. She stole the microphone out his hand, and said, "I was NOT going to say that Mr. Malfoy. No more of this. That's enough."  
  
The teachers left. Ron and Hermione ran up to Harry as Hermione cried, "You okay, Harry?"  
  
"Yeah." He rubbed his hand. "But I have to remember that Snape isn't a T-rex."  
  
"T-rex..." Malfoy's voice drawled happily and pervertidly as ever. "T...king of T's...T...T...T..."  
  
"He is grossing me out guys." Ron pointed to Malfoy. "Can we just go?"  
  
"Today is going to suck, isn't it?" Hermione sighed as they excited the Great Hall. Malfoy was following them.  
  
"Suck!" Malfoy cried. "Suck! Suck the T! Suck...cause I am a dick! Suck! T T T! HARRY WEARS HELLO KITTY THONGS!"  
  
Harry's neck was hot. How many galleons he would give to just be able to kick Malfoy in the 'T'...but he knew he couldn't...  
  
"I am sorry to say," Hermione shook her head. "But he has got to be the biggest pervert I have ever met."  
  
"And Harry has to fall in love with him," Ron nudged his friend. Harry recoiled when Malfoy put his arm around his and said, "I want a pretty scar just like yours..."  
  
"I feel sick..." Harry left them towards the hospital wing. "I'm just gonna...ask Madam Promfrey for a...a..."  
  
"VIAGRA!"  
  
"NO!" Harry yelled back. He lurched as his stomach turned. "YOUR SO...!"  
  
But he disappeared before he could tell them exactly what Malfoy was.   
  
"I am going to go to Charms!" Malfoy smiled to Hermione and Ron. "I'll see you guys later! I'll sit with my best friends at lunch! That you, sillies!"  
  
Malfoy skipped off. Yes, he skipped.  
  
"Since when were we ever his friends?" Ron growled. His nails were digging into his palms.  
  
"Got any ideas of revenge?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Your the smart one," Ron said. "You think of something."  
  
"I have the perfect curse," She grinned evilly and pulled out a bright orange, handheld book. "The Grosteque Spell Book. I just found out the perfect one, too."  
  
"What?"  
  
"It is called..." She smiled in envy, proping the book open, her eyes shiftly looking at Malfoy's disappearing figure down the hall. "The Bitter Blood Vomit."  
  
"I like it." Ron grinned with her.  
  
"How many affects does it have?"  
  
"5." She read from the book. "We'd have to give it in 5 different forms...can you think of any?"  
  
"A T." Ron said scarcastically.  
  
"I got it. Lunch. Somehow we should slip stuff into his backpack and maybe give him like...some kind of food?"  
  
"Your the genius."  
  
"You're right," She shut the book. "I am."  
  
  
  
Wow, that joke got old. I think I've had my share fair of T jokes, how about you guys? Review if you want more! 


	4. The Bitter Blood Vomit Curse

Note: Just to let everyone know, the story takes place in a parallel year, so alot of things have happened but everyone is still in school! I know its confusing, but live with it. ^_^  
  
*  
  
Harry scuttled into the hospital bed. Madam Profrey brought in a weird smelling tea and said, "Your stomach will be all better when you drink this."  
  
He took a sip, and he instantly started shivering.  
  
"What is..."  
  
"Tummy aches don't go away easily!" Profrey waved her finger. "It is a process almost as painful as regrowing bones!"  
  
"What?" Harry remembered what that little experiance had been like. "But it is just a stomach ache! Could you give me tilonal or something?"  
  
"Sorry, honey, no tilonal." She left, and the instant she shut the door, Harry cringed. His skin was riddling with pain! It was even worse than any curse that had ever been put on him! Was the NURSE A CRAZY WOMAN?  
  
"FU*@ SH&# MO^%E8 *$&A@* **&F#&@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Harry's voice could be heard from in the Gryffindor Common Room just before Lunch. As Ron and Hermione planned their curse, they heard Lee Jordan muttering, "Harry must have had a stomach ache."  
  
"AS*@ !@%(* &&F* *%@(SJ *$&%H88!%* 69!!!!!!!" He continued echoing. His friends looked nervously at each other.   
  
Ron cried, "See the horrors that Malfoy can do to you?!"  
  
"Ron, calm down," Hermione said quietly. "We have more important things to worry about. Such as Malfoy."  
  
Ron snorted in protest.  
  
"Five forms. Okay, first, we need 'beast in a small form.' Grab my teddy bear. It will give Malfoy illusions of his greatest fear." She flipped the pages of her book when Ron returned with a teddy bear. "And a 'strand of love.' The heart decorated ribbon on the teddy's neck should do good. It will make Malfoy get boils."  
  
"Cool."  
  
"Next we have to get something called 'The sugar of vice.' It will make him barf bitter blood vomit-just like the curse is named. Anyone he touches will barf too. Oh, that's easy!" Hermione turned to the Weasly twins. "I know you guys have candy with you. Give it up."  
  
"Waaa....you always ruin the fun." The twins handed a portion of their candy to Hermione, which they seemed very to unhappy to do.  
  
"Next, 'quilt woven with unfairness.'"  
  
Ron raised his hand  
  
"I got it!" He said. "My mom is always sewing me stupid bergundy sweaters but she makes Harry cool ones!" Ron stood up, pulled a sweater from bellow his chair cushion (muttering, 'had to use it for \i something\i0 '). "You can have it."  
  
"The sweater will paralyze him." She added the sweatshirt to the pile and finally said, "Last one. It is the one that will kill him." Hermione giggled darkly. "'Hands of darkness.' Gloves!" She ripped black gloves off her own hands, and clapped them together. She was smiling. "With these gloves, Malfoy will think he is getting kicked in the groin a million times over!"  
  
Ron's face turned red and he cracked up.  
  
"Rich!" Ron cried. "To rich! Let's do this spell! How long will it take to activate?"  
  
"Ten minutes." Hermione informed him. "After we say the proper words. It will only affect the first person it touches within that time as well. So you and I have to give the objects to Malfoy before our timelimit. Let's start!"  
  
The two raised their wands, chanting.  
  
"Acerbus Cruor!" Hermione recited perfectly.  
  
"Wingardium Leviosa!" Ron shouted, and the objects floated lazily off the table.   
  
Hermione glared at him. Ron just shrugged. "What? I thought it would be cool."  
  
Draco was by himself walking down the corriders. He skipped happily along as he said to himself, "I wonder how Harry-Berry is doing?"  
  
Around the corner, Crabbe and Goyle appeared. They had uncomfortable looks on their faces, almost like they were constipated.  
  
"Uh...Draco..." Crabbe began. The thug was shaking. "Uh..."  
  
"We...der...don't...wanna..."  
  
"Be...your body...guards...anymore..."  
  
Draco blinked. He spread out his arms and said, "That's okay, Greg and Vince! Who needs body gaurds when you can have friends?!"  
  
They looked oddly at him.  
  
"Uh...." It was a too hard of question for the two to answer.  
  
"Friends are good! Don't be afraid to make friends!" Draco left the two behind when he went into the Great Hall for lunch.  
  
This left Crabbe and Goyle staring at each other dumbly for the rest of the day.  
  
"Hello friends!" Malfoy called to Hermione and Ron. Usually, this would have embarrased the two, but they had the upper hand. Everything was planned out and ready. Malfoy sat with the Gryffindors and chanted happily about nonsence.  
  
"Mal - I mean Draco, just because you are such a good friend to us, we want to give you this," Ron said fakely and passed Malfoy the teddy bear with the ribbon wrapped around it.  
  
"Oh my gosh! Thank you!"   
  
It was hard to tell when Malfoy would be G-rated or X-rated. Perhaps he was only X-rated when Harry was around.  
  
"Look at this!" Hermione exclaimed monotonely. "I have some -er- candy left over!"  
  
"Candy!" Malfoy's eyes brightened. "I like candy!"  
  
"Why don't you have it then?" she gave him all the candy George and Fred had given her. She saw the twins had horrified looks on their faces, but they didn't say anything.  
  
"I should be going to see Harry," Malfoy stood up.   
  
"Wait!" Ron stood up. "You look cold!"  
  
"I'm fine," Malfoy said.  
  
"No, no!" He took off the black gloves and sweatshirt he was wearing and placed them in Malfoy's arms.  
  
"Thank you, friends!" Malfoy smiled in pure joy. If he were in a Clamp manga now, there would be sparkles and rosepetals floating around him. "Bye!" He left them, and Hermione and Ron sighed in relief.  
  
"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR?" George insisted when Malfoy had left the room.  
  
"THAT WAS OUR CANDY!"\line"Couldn't be helped," Hermione shrugged. "We are doing a prank, I am sad to say."  
  
"Wow, you should have told us!" They perked up again, not so angry. "So was that the reason you were strangling Ron cause his sweater was flying?"  
  
"...well, not exactly..."  
  
"Your secret is safe with us!" Fred cried, and the two twins wrapped arms around each other. "Can't wait to see this get done!"  
  
"Ugggh....*@j8$!" Harry groaned and rolled over in the bed. This was the worse day of his life....  
  
But it only got worse when he saw Malfoy's big pale eye in his own.  
  
"Ah! Malfoy!"  
  
"Hi honey dust bunny!" Malfoy said and embraced Harry as hard as he could. It nearly chocked him. "Call me Draco!"\lineHarry was about to snap Draco's neck, when he remembered his duties. He had to be nice to Draco, even if it killed him.  
  
"...k' Draco."  
  
"Eep! I'm so happy!" He said loudly. "I brought you a present!"  
  
Draco revealed the teddy bear. Harry suddenly didn't feel so angry when he took it in his hands (but he would have if he would of known...!)  
  
"And I know how bad medecine tastes, so here is some candy!" Draco put the candy in Harry's hand. "Oh, your hands are cold! Take these gloves! And this sweatshirt!"  
  
"That's a Weasly sweat-"  
  
"Happy Birthday!" He said and gave Harry a backbreaking hug.  
  
"It's...not...my..."  
  
"But you'll always be my baby!" Malfoy cried making little sense at all. "The T Harry! The T!"  
  
"What?" Harry's heart jumped.   
  
"Nothing." He left the room quietly and waved his hand. "I'm gonna give you a super big surprise tomorrow!"  
  
"No, don't!" But it was to late. Draco had left the room. "You great, stupid, fruitcake..."  
  
Great, just great. Now Harry would wake up tomorrow with Draco in his bed-again. What was the world coming too??!!!  
  
"Draco?" Harry screamed. "Get out of my bed!"  
  
But Draco had suddenly appeared in Harry's bed. And he was-  
  
"Ew! Get your clothes on!" Harry shrieked, and fell onto the otherside of the bed. "How'd he strip so fast!?" But Harry was running out of time. How did Draco do all that?  
  
"Ow, damn it!" Harry cried. He looked at his arms-they were blistering in red boils. "MADAM PROMFREY! HELP! YOUR MEDICINE KILLED ME!"  
  
Draco was crawling closer to Harry, when the nurse raced into the room.  
  
"Oh, Potter!" Profrey said. "Your blistering! And why are you on the otherside of your bed?"  
  
"Malfoy! He's in my bed!"  
  
"Harry, what are you..."  
  
"He's naked! Help me!"  
  
"Harry..." Madam Promfrey walked forward and put her hand to his forehead. "What is wrong with you? You were just fine before..."  
  
"HELP!" Harry cried, but then he vomited disgusting, red barf that hit Madam Profrey right in the face.  
  
She screamed and fell to the ground twitching. Next thing you knew, Madam Promfrey was peuking all over the shiny, polished floor.  
  
"Madam-" he barfed.   
  
"Promfrey-" He barfed again.   
  
"What's going-" You get the point.  
  
"On?"   
  
But he couldn't even get up to escape the pool of barf or naked Malfoy, because next thing he knew, Harry was rigid and frozen on the bed like a statue. And Malfoy took advantage of this...  
  
"Malfoy!" Harry shrieked, continuing to barf between breaths and words. "Get off of me!"  
  
"But I'm addicted to you!"  
  
"NOOOOO!"  
  
And just when Harry thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. He squealed and cried. Malfoy jumped off of him.  
  
"What's going on?" Malfoy insisted innocently.  
  
"MY...NU..." Harry mustered to hiss before tossing his head off the side of the bed unconcious. The Bitter Blood Vomit Curse had been a success in torchering Harry until he couldn't be torchered any more.  
  
"I wonder how Harry is doing?" Ron asked Hermione. They were on their way to visit their ill friend. "I bet Malfoy in drowning in his own barf by now!"  
  
They both laughed, and entered the Hospital Wing. Once the door opened, a nasty glaze of red poured at their feet.  
  
"What the..."  
  
And that is where Ron and Hermione saw the hell of their practical joke. They found a sea of barf, Madam Promfrey finding shelter on a floating bed, and finally the unconcious Harry with boils and paralyzed, but it was a mystery to them what Harry's greatest fear was.  
  
Ron looked shiftly at Hermione. Her eyes were filled with terror.  
  
"Glad it wasn't us, eh?" 


	5. Jelly Beans and Other Stuff

"Know what I'll never get about Jelly Beans?" Draco spoke offhandedly to Hermione and Ron. They were walking down to the Gryffindor Common Room when he had spotted them, waving a bag of Bertie Botts every flavour beans. "Why are they 'beans?' I mean, why 'beans?'They don't even make you fart! Why not 'Jelly Potatoes?' or 'Jelly Fish,' huh? Even the bean flavoured jelly beans don't take like-"  
  
"Malfoy, do us all a favour," Ron spoke under his breath. "And just SHUT UP."  
  
"Oh, is someone a little grumpy wumpy?" Draco suddenly leaped in Ron's path, seized and pinched his cheeks, and said, "I think someone needs a wittle cheerin' up! Yes he does, yes he does! koochi koochi koo! Peekaboo! I see you!"  
  
Ron stood there, flabberghasted, then pushed Draco out of the way.  
  
"Don't-touch-me!"  
  
"Someone wants a hug!" Draco called, and gave Ron a huge hug. "So does Hermy!" And he pushed her in their embrace.  
  
"Look, you guys!" A group of slytherins (Draco's old crowd who know hated him) A three-sum How sweet." They laughed and left.  
  
"Draco, I don't mean to hurt your feelings," Hermione spoke sweetly. "But quit acting so...so...eccentric?"  
  
He looked strangely at her. Draco hadn't the slightest clue what 'eccentric' was.  
  
"Nuh...I was gonna tell you guys something." Draco said, totally off subject. They carried on walking down the hall. "It was where I was when darling Harry-Berry was vomiting his adorable guts out...oh yeah! I got transferred!"  
  
"To another year?" Hermione asked, but it was obvious that she wished he was.  
  
"Another school?" Ron wouldn't let HIS excitement be dampened. "Another country? Another planet?"  
  
"No sillies!" He called. "I changed school houses, duh!"  
  
They froze in their tracks.  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Yeah! I'm not a Slytherin anymore!"  
  
"Are you in Ravenclaw?" Hermione asked hopefully.  
  
"Nope!"  
  
"Hufflepuff?" Ron said. They knew what was left.  
  
"No!" Draco had the widest grin on his face. "GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
They exchanged looks, eyes wide open in pure-hearted terror.  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
"Proffesor McGonagall?" Harry asked surreally, from his new clean bed. All the teachers had done their best to clean and help with the disgusting hospital wing. "Am I hearing things?"  
  
"What things, Potter?"  
  
"I could have sworn I heard someone screaming. Then I heard some crashings, and more screams, and..."  
  
"Your just a little skitsophrenic, Potter," She said, and put her hand to his forehead. "You seem better. Oh no!"  
  
A strecher was being brought in. A crippled, bloody boy was on it.  
  
"What happened to-"  
  
It was Draco. He apparently had been beaten serveral times, cursed, and overall a huge mess. Lucky thing was he didn't seem to be concious.Harry felt much more alive after seeing his state. He leaped out of bed and cried, "I feel good! I'm going back-"  
  
"You are going back to the Common Room, Potter." McGonagall ordered. "Forget your other classes. Do your homework or whatever but do not leave the common room, you here me? You may still be hallucinating."  
  
"Yes mam."  
  
When Harry got to the common room, he found Hermione and Ron sitting smuggly and happily in front of the fire. Harry was a little shocked that both of them would skip class, but he then realized that it was still lunch time.  
  
"Why are you guys so happy?"  
  
"We did it." Ron said suddenly.  
  
"We cursed Malfoy! I'm not so sure if I am proud of it, but..."  
  
"It was beautiful! He was all sprawled out on the floor and...oh, a true work of art."  
  
"True."  
  
Harry yawned, and fell onto the couch beside them.  
  
"Madam Promfrey should be fired. Her medicine nearly killed me."  
  
Ron and Hermione gave each other nervous glances.  
  
"Maybe you were just allergic, Harry..."  
  
"Yeah..." Harry shrugged. "Well anyways. They reckon I'm still crazy so I can't do anything but just stay here. Oh well."  
  
"We better get going, Ron," Hermione stood up. "Lunch is about over. See you later, then, Harry?"  
  
Harry nodded.  
  
"Sure."  
  
Harry headed back up to bed - he was still pretty tired from the exaustion of fighting the curse earlier. But before he could, he found himself kicking something at the boy's dorm's door. It was a pale pink, flowery, small book. Curious, Harry took it into his bed, propped it in his lap and began reading. That is when he realized it was someone's diary. It was labelled 'Weasley.'  
  
"Dear Diary, there is someone I love. He is so beautiful, so strong, with his satiny black hair and green eyes. We've known each other since the day we started Hogwarts, and my burning passion will not cease. I've kept my promise with only two people, but I am sure everyone knows. But my brothers won't stop picking on me. It does not matter, for I will love him forever. He is the only one for me - he's Harry Potter."  
  
Harry felt rather flattered, and surprassingly strange. The cover said Weasley, and Harry didn't doubt that Ginny had wrote this. He placed the book on the desk beside him, took off his glasses, and fell asleep. He planned to talk to Ginny in the morning.  
  
CHAPTER END  
  
  
  
Ho ho ho ho! A cliff hanger! What will Harry say to Ginny, huh? Trust me, you guy's won't expect what is about to happen... 


	6. Deja Vu

Dim, musky morning light shown through the closed drapes of the Gryffindor Common room. It glimmered into Harry Potter's eyes and awoke him. The bedroom looked blury without his glasses on, so he fundled on the desk to pick them up.  
  
He had been having the strangest dream. Funny it had awoken him before everybody else. Now that he thought back on it, Harry could barely even remember what had happened in the dream. Hadn't he had the same dream before?  
  
"Ron, have you seen my glasses?" Harry hissed when he couldn't find them. Someone handed him his glasses out of no where. "Oh, here they are."  
  
"And there you are, smuggy buggins! SURPRISE! I TOLD YOU I'D SURPRISE YOU!" Draco's horrendous voice screeched into his ears. Draco was hugging him - in his bed! Again!  
  
"NOT THIS AGAIN!" Harry screamed. He had had enough of this! He didn't care if it was going to stop his chances of curing Draco, but he was angry! "STOP IT!"  
  
Harry shoved Draco off the bed, and he hit the floor with a loud CRASH. Just like before, everyone woke up. The droaning sounds of other years could be heard outside. Harry heard one of the Weasely twin's voice whining, "WITH ROOMATES LIKE THIS, WHO NEEDS ALARM CLOCKS?!"  
  
Within a few minutes, a large portion of Gryffindor was at their dorm's door.   
  
"Harry! Will you and your boyfriend please TRY to be quieter?!" A girl from the Quidditch team yawned angrily.   
  
"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!"  
  
Draco rubbed his head and blinked.  
  
"Oh...something about jelly beans...uh...potatoes?"  
  
"What is he doing here?" Harry pointed to Draco.   
  
"He transferred to Gryffindor," Ron sleepily announced. "Didn't we tell you that, Harry?"  
  
"NOOO!" Harry screeched.   
  
"Harry and his 'ickle boyfwend are sweeeeeping together!" Fred's voice called over the crowd. He pushed his way to the front, and leaned on the desk beside Harry's bed. "You pwobabwy wuv him, eh Hawwy Wawwy?"  
  
"Shut up, Fred." Harry leered. "And get off my desk."  
  
Fred looked down. He had noticed the pink book. He gave a quick look at Ginny. Harry could see her face was red too. He snatched the book, and passed it to Ginny as quickly as he could, hissing, "Hide this, you stupid prat!"  
  
Draco, from the concosion on his head, passed out on the floor. This took the interest away from the Gryffindors, and they all left for an early breakfast down stairs.  
  
"Harry, you got any idea what that pink book thing was about?" Ron asked Harry. He too had noticed Fred and Ginny's reaction.  
  
"It was a diary. A Weasley diary." Harry said. Ron turned red, and shook his head.  
  
"Wasn't mine," He chuckled. "Seriously."  
  
Harry believed him. He could when Ron was lying. Plus, he doubted wether Ron would keep a pink diary with him and just leave it on the floor. 


	7. The Secret is Revealed

CHAPTER 7  
  
"Why don't you go ask Ginny out then?" Ron suggested at the breakfast table. Everyone was half asleep, many people's faces were smothered in their meals. "Obviously she's obsessed with you, Harry."  
  
"Oh Alright then," Harry shrugged as he got up and walked towards her. "Wouldn't hurt."  
  
He arrived in front of Ginny and said, "Can I have a word with you?"  
  
The girls at the table giggled.  
  
"Yeah sure," she said and got up, taking her bookbag with her. They made their way into the lonely corriders (everyone was sleeping or eating). "What's up?"  
  
"Ginny, I..." harry turned red. "I...I read the pink journal. And...I'd love to go out with you!"  
  
There was an akward silence. Too akward. Ginny screwed up her face and said, "What are you talking about? ME, go out with YOU?"  
  
"Yeah...your...er...diary...thing...I found it..."  
  
"THAT WASN'T MY DIARY." She said loudly, and rolled her eyes. She took an envelope out of her bag, and passed it to Harry. "That, Harry, was FRED'S DIARY."  
  
"F...F...FRED'S?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"You know, usually, I would have fainted in fear out of this, but..." He shook his head. "...with Draco following me around for the past two days, I'm actually kind of used to it. But, you expect me to believe Fred is gay?"  
  
"Yep." She pointed to the envelope. "I got pictures of every boyfriend he's ever had. Don't ask how."  
  
Harry opened the envelope. And he knew that he'd never would want to look at it again. From the looks of it, Fred had made out with every guy in Gryffindor, teachers, and a few of the older students who were in Hufflepuff. There was Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Lee Jordan, Viktor Crum, Cedric Diggory (older hufflepuff student right there), Neville Longbottom, Snape, Binns, Filch, Peeves, Nearly Headless Nick, Fat Friar, Hagrid, and a bunch of other people that Harry didn't know...  
  
"This man is sick." Harry sighed. "But wait a second, if you don't like me, who DO you like?"  
  
"Well," She said slowly. "I don't really want to say, but okay."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Well, ever since the third year, we've been seeing each other. At the hog's head...that was the most romantic dinner I've ever had."  
  
"WHO? Tell me! tell me!"  
  
"He's my sugardaddy. Dumbledore."  
  
Harry stopped. His jaw dropped open. He randomly waved his arms in the air, screaming, "IS THIS SCHOOL CRAZY OR IS IT JUST ME!!!"  
  
"What's all this about?"  
  
Dumbledore had appeared in the doorway, his eyes flashing dangerously. Ginny's face went red.  
  
"Hey suga' dada." she said coily. Harry felt his stomach twist.  
  
"Not now, Ginny-winny." Dumbledore said. He took her hand, and they walked out of site.  
  
Harry felt his legs going numb. He fell over, and leaned his back against the wall. This was too weird...all to weird...  
  
"Oh...god...I just wish that...I could transfer to dumstrang..." Harry sighed. He felt sort of odd, just lying there all alone. He put his hand on the cold stone floor. Suddenly, someone touched it.  
  
But no one was there. Harry felt himself go queasier. Was a ghost playing a prank on him?  
  
Next thing Harry knew, he was being knocked over, flat on the floor, and someone was KISSING HIM! But no one was there!!!  
  
"Gef off off ma mouf!" Harry tried to say, and pushed the invisible thing off of him. There was a shimmer where he had pushed it, and then the outline, and soon the whole body of someone appeared...it was...  
  
"MAAaaaAALFOOOoooOOOoOYYYYYY!!!!!!!!"  
  
Harry smacked his hand to his lips. His second kiss ever...was from...DRACO MALFOY!!!  
  
Harry couldn't help hold in his disgust. He'd just found out Fred liked him, Dumbledore was Ginny's 'Suga-daddy', and now, DRACO MALFOY KISSED HiM!?!?!?!? WHAT WAS THE WORLD COMING TOO? He barfed all over the floor and dampened's Draco's robes.  
  
"Harry Berry! I found you, my pretty! Oh, I have something to tell you!" Draco saying sweetly,not even noticing the barf on his robe. He noticed Harry's disgusted look. "Oh no! You don't like my new lipgloss?"  
  
"Strawberry," Harry commented airly. He paused, then remembered. "Hey, you have random invisibilty power!"  
  
"Yeah." He nodded his head smartly, then Draco blinked stupidly. "Wait, I have invisiblity power? Since when? COOL! I can sneak into the boy's dormatory!"  
  
"Like you couldn't already?" Harry shook his head. "I DON'T WANT YOU TO KISS ME! EVER AGAIN!"  
  
"I will not be willing to not do that, suga buga!"   
  
"STOP CALLING ME STUPID NAMES!"  
  
"Harry, I gotta ask you something!" Draco said happily. "Don't you know what tomorrow is?"  
  
"Friday."  
  
"It's the Fouth of July."  
  
"But we live in England!"  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
"...."  
  
"You see," Draco began. He'd obviously been thinking alot about what he was about to say. "This Fourth of July, me and my family shoot deadly fireworks into the sky and light muggle houses on fire! Wanna play?"  
  
"No."  
  
"PLEEEEAAASSEEE? I'll love you forever!"  
  
Harry stopped to think. To rid Draco of the curse, he had to make him believe he was in love with him. As disgusting as it sounded, Harry decided to go with it. After the 4th of July, Draco would be suspended for sure! And Harry would be free of his gay stalker!  
  
"I WILL!" Harry said. "When do we pack? Can I meet your family? Is mom your old? Does she smell? Has your dad ever cut his hair?"  
  
"Oh, I knew you loved me, Harry!" He gave him a huge hug, and ran away happily. "Come, along my lover! We must pack! We leave today!"  
  
"Just us?"  
  
"Yep. My family is the only family in Great Britain that celebrates Fourth July."   
  
Harry sighed, but followed Malfoy. At least he'd get Friday off. NO POTIONS CLASS! But this meant...as he feared...he'd spend a whole weekend, and a Friday, with the Malfoy's. Harry heard they were rich. Maybe they'd give him stuff for being with their son. He smiled. Oh how great it was to minipulate people...mwahahahahahahaa...  
  
"Harry Berry, are you coming? We are going to have so much fun, yes we are! Yes we are!"  
  
Harry's mouth winced, but he forced a smile. He packed up his stuff, with Malfoy, and headed out to the courtyards. They passed Prof. Mcgonagall, who pulled Harry aside.  
  
"I know this may seem too quick, Potter," McGonagall said sternly. "But I believe you can heal Malfoy and save everyone if you just go with him. I signed your premission slip."  
  
"Er...thanks?"  
  
"You better thank me," She pushed him ahead. "Now go kick ass!"  
  
"Just as long as I am not doing ass."  
  
And there, infront of them, was Mr. Lucius Malfoy. He took one of Draco's suitcases, and showed them the way to a pretty, black car. Without a word, Harry, Draco, and Lucius entered the car. The driver started the engine. It hovered, then shot off into the sky.  
  
"so, how are you, Draco?" Lucius asked sweetly. Harry thought he'd never see the day when he heard a deatheater talking in THAT tone.  
  
"Me and Harry are in love!" He grabbed Harry. Harry screwed up his face embarrasingly. He expected Lucius Malfoy to explode, but all he heard was, "That's nice, Draco. Just lovely. Wait till your mother hears the good news! So, Harry, play Quidditch?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm a Seeker."  
  
"Draco is too! What a coincidence."  
  
And for the rest of the drive, they had completely normal conversations (with the exception of a few failed attemtions of Draco making out with Harry). Harry was wondering if he really was talking to the infamous MALFOY'S. Didn't they hate Harry?  
  
It didn't make much sense, but Harry was about to see the height that the Malfoys would go to...to do stuff to Harry.   
  
CHAPTER END  
  
Hee hee. I'm evil. And disgusting. Thanks to Reshma for helping me write it!!!! 


End file.
